Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Just a glimpse...

In case you're curious, here are just a few snap shots to give you a little glimpse into my life...

In case you couldn't tell, I like to enjoy life. My boyfriend, friends and family mean the world to me (unfortunately, my family does not want me posting any of their pics up on the internet--oh well, they'll come around eventually!) And whether you believe it or not, my girlfriends are even more beautiful on the inside than they are on the outside.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

It's a Big Old World...

It's a great, big, old world out there and I want to see it ALL.

(Many of you may already be familiar with the latest advances in technology that allow you to basically stalk ANYONE you choose, but if you're not, let me tell you something...YOU ARE MISSING OUT! Thanks to the likes of Facebook and MySpace, I am able to track the every moves of everyone ranging from my best friends to kids I haven't even talked to since elementary school. With such ease, I am able to keep up with the latest events such as which of my sorority sisters spent the weekend living it up in Vegas, who recently got engaged, and what the future career plans are for the soon-to-be college graduates).

Anyway, before I get too off track and completely destroy any ties that I may have had to my opening line, let me try and explain where I'm going with this...As I was taking part in my daily ritual of checking my friends' profiles on facebook, I came across T's newly updated profile (she is currently living in Colombia and about to take a tour through South East Asia). From there, I learned that three other of our acquaintances are looking to, or already have, moved abroad. One just moved to Germany, another is returning to Spain (soooo jealous) and the third is planning on getting an internship ANYWHERE outside the U.S.

As I re-read over all of this new info, goosebumps run all over my body as I imagine what it's going to be like in Paris. I have such big dreams of living and working abroad, but as of late, I have started to get a little nervous. Nervous about finding a family; scared about the unknown. But as my goosebumps subside, I realize that I have to follow through with this. Every time I hear about someone working in another country I feel a sense of excitement (and a bit of jealousy) within. I LONG to fulfill this dream of mine but sometimes it just seems so out of reach.

But it's all going to come together. It has to. Studying in Spain was just the beginning. Its now two years later and I'm getting ready to embark on another, more complex journey.After Paris, who knows where my next journey will take me.

So as I look at the map of the world I start to draw check marks over the places that I've been. U.S., Spain, France, Italy, England, Vatican City....with 187 countries left, I'd say I've got a long way to go. But I'm DEFINITELY up for the challenge.

Like I said, it's a great big world out there---and I'm determined to see as much of it as I can!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Longing for A Return to Innocence

It’s days like yesterday and today that leave me longing for the innocence and naivety of my youth; a time when life was so simple, so peaceful and so carefree. As I glue my eyes and ears to the television set, I can't help but think back upon my childhood and how “safe” I felt.

The days of my youth were spent playing with barbies, picking on my younger brothers, and running from one soccer game to the next. The biggest thing I had to worry about was finishing my homework with enough time to still go out and play with the neighbors before dinner.

But somewhere along the way, I grew up. Life became more complex and I started to realize that life isn't always kind to people.

The world is not perfect.

Bad things happen to good people.

And most of the horrific events that occur during this lifetime will leave us asking "Why?" without ever offering up an answer to our questions.

Unfortunately, yesterday will go down in U.S. history as one of the most horrific shooting sprees to ever occur in our country. Marked by a cowardly act that ended too many lives all too quickly, the face of Virginia Tech, as well as this nation, has been forever changed by this tragedy. To the faculty, staff and students of Virginia Tech, may you find comfort and strength in knowing that this entire country has you in our thoughts and prayers. And to the families of the victims, may God give you a little extra strength to get through this horrific time.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Strike One

She steps up to the plate, staring the pitcher dead in the eyes. "Come on, I dare you!" her eyes scream back towards the mound.

The pitcher winds up and releases the pitch.


She steps back, heart pounding. "Whew! Alright, just calm down, you're fine. You've still got two more chances. The games not over- you've still got plenty of time to knock this baby right outta the park."

So that's where I am right now. Standing at the plate, waiting for the next pitch. I've already struck out with one family (by my own will) and now I'm forced to endure the pain of waiting for the next pitch. So now I wait. I wait for the pitcher (or more accurately, the agency) to wind up and send me another pitch (family). Am I going to let that one slide right past me and back into the catcher's glove in hopes of something better, or am I going to accept it and whack it out of the park??? Only time will tell, but for now I'd better put that bat back on my shoulder and get ready for the next pitch that comes my way.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Something's in the air...

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."- Anais Nin

I don't know what it is, but something new seems to be lingering around in the air lately----and I think it's going to be around for a while.

What is it you may ask? Well, I'm not quite sure myself. All I know is that with it comes big changes. I feel as though this year is going to be Big- with a capital "B"- not only for myself, but for my entire family. It's only April, and my family is already getting ready for two marriages, the birth of a great-grand baby, a new career path, a move to a new state, the completion of college, and the start at a new kind of lifestyle called "retirement"- oh yeah, and I'm moving out of the country!

I have to admit, I've never really been a fan of this 5 letter word, but I am getting more comfortable with it. A few years ago, anytime this word "change" would come about it only meant that I was about to take a trip down memory lane with thoughts that I'd rather forget about. In the past, the word "change" had always been synonymous with loss- like the loss of my "perfect" family when my parents divorced or the loss of our father-daughter relationship when my dad moved away.

But you know what? My thoughts on change have since, well... done exactly that-changed.

Yes, my parents divorced, and had you have asked me to when I was 13 years old, I would have given anything to have them back together. But you know what? If you were to ask me now, I'd tell you that I couldn't be happier with the way things turned out. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with two adoring step parents, who not only love my parents, but love me and my brothers as if we were their own flesh and blood; I finally got that "little sister" that I had always wanted (no offense Nick-you did make a pretty cute girl when you'd let me dress you up!); and what could be better than the joy that follows with the birth of a new baby brother?!?!?!

Having my dad in another state has always been difficult--probably one of the hardest "changes" that I've ever had to deal with- but ironically, I think the distance has actually made us closer. We share a special bond that not many fathers and daughter share. He is my "go-to" guy; whenever I need him, he's always there. From college essays to random facts of the day-he's the first one I turn to. So does it suck not having him close by-YES- but have we adjusted and made the best out of the situation? Absolutely.

So now instead of hiding from change, I just try my hardest to embrace it and tell myself that there must be a reason for it.

So to that "something" that seems to be lingering around in the air lately, I say this: Give me all you've got, I can handle it!