"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."- Anais Nin
I don't know what it is, but something new seems to be lingering around in the air lately----and I think it's going to be around for a while.
What is it you may ask? Well, I'm not quite sure myself. All I know is that with it comes big changes. I feel as though this year is going to be Big- with a capital "B"- not only for myself, but for my entire family. It's only April, and my family is already getting ready for two marriages, the birth of a great-grand baby, a new career path, a move to a new state, the completion of college, and the start at a new kind of lifestyle called "retirement"- oh yeah, and I'm moving out of the country!
I have to admit, I've never really been a fan of this 5 letter word, but I am getting more comfortable with it. A few years ago, anytime this word "change" would come about it only meant that I was about to take a trip down memory lane with thoughts that I'd rather forget about. In the past, the word "change" had always been synonymous with loss- like the loss of my "perfect" family when my parents divorced or the loss of our father-daughter relationship when my dad moved away.
But you know what? My thoughts on change have since, well... done exactly that-changed.
Yes, my parents divorced, and had you have asked me to when I was 13 years old, I would have given anything to have them back together. But you know what? If you were to ask me now, I'd tell you that I couldn't be happier with the way things turned out. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with two adoring step parents, who not only love my parents, but love me and my brothers as if we were their own flesh and blood; I finally got that "little sister" that I had always wanted (no offense Nick-you did make a pretty cute girl when you'd let me dress you up!); and what could be better than the joy that follows with the birth of a new baby brother?!?!?!
Having my dad in another state has always been difficult--probably one of the hardest "changes" that I've ever had to deal with- but ironically, I think the distance has actually made us closer. We share a special bond that not many fathers and daughter share. He is my "go-to" guy; whenever I need him, he's always there. From college essays to random facts of the day-he's the first one I turn to. So does it suck not having him close by-YES- but have we adjusted and made the best out of the situation? Absolutely.
So now instead of hiding from change, I just try my hardest to embrace it and tell myself that there must be a reason for it.
So to that "something" that seems to be lingering around in the air lately, I say this: Give me all you've got, I can handle it!
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4 comments:
Hi Dani
I found you blog from a comment you left on Gillian Young’s.
I found hers cos was looking anyone that had some kind of experiences being an au pair.
Not sure if you’re interested but let me tell you a bit about my travel adventures.
I am from South Africa, and similarly to you had an innate desire to live somewhere other than my home; to try something new, to find my true self. I went for a year to Boston MA, and worked as an au pair for a 3 and 4 yr old. It was the one of the best and hardest lessons in my life. A lot of what you are saying makes sense to me, the confusion and trepidation of the unknown future. After I finished studying I did not feel ready to face the world of employment. I left my family and friends, and went to live with strangers, who slowly became like family.
When I returned, I realized there’s no place like Home, and you can’t go Home because things always change. I had become confident and independent. I got a job, and am working hard to achieve my next set of dreams, yet it still not a profession, so I am thinking about going to university to change careers.
Hi Danielle! Change is good, change is the only certainty. Well, almost the only. I hope all the imminent changes are going to be great, lovely adventures for you. I love what you wrote about your mum in that previous post.
Thank you both so very much for the kind words and encouragement! It really means a lot to me!!!1
People should read this.
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